"An English Teacher"

His going in the army is the best thing he could do. Now you're free to start to do, what you want to do.
Albert, Albert, Albert!
I remember how you told me I should trust you for a year. It would just be
for a year. But it's 8 years, Albert. 8 long years Albert.
It was only a sideline that's what you said. You just needed some money
that's what you said. You were going to college and get ahead. Instead of
being a music business bum. You were going to NYU and become....An English
teacher!
(spoken lines - not part of the song)
An English teacher, an English teacher. If only you'd been an English
teacher. We'd have a little apartment in Queens. you'd get a summer vacation,
and we would know what life means. A man who's got his Masters is really
someone. How proud I'd be if you had become one. It could have been such a
wonderful life, I could have been Mrs. Peterson, Mrs. Albert Peterson. Mrs.
Phi-Beta-Cappa Peterson, the English teacher's wife.

"A Healthy Normal American Boy"

This song has a part after the 5th reporter where they sing different things at the same time so i'll just abbreviate their initials, VW and JA, and then there's a chorus so they'll be ch

(Reporters asking questions-spoken)
Reporter 1: How does Conrad feel about going into the army?
JA: How does he feel? You ask how he feels. He's much too shy to tell you so I'll tell you how he feels. He feels brave and eager, strangely humble. Proud to be a plain G.I.
VW: He would gladly, face those bullets, for he's not afraid to die.
ch: For he's a fine abstanding patriotic, healthy normal American boy.
JA (spoken): And that's why he volunteered.
Reporter 2 (spoken): Volunteered? I heard he appealed 3 times!
VW (spoken):Sing!
ch: We love you Conrad, oh yes we do, we love you Conrad, and we'll be true. When you're not near us, we're blue/ OH Conrad we love you.
Reporter 3 (spoken): What's the picture on you and that Hollywood star? Are you two engaged?
VW (spoken): Is he engaged? Is Conrad engaged? There's absolutely nothing to the rumor he's engaged.
JA: She's a real pal., like a sister, but it doens't mean a thing. And that 18 karat diamond, it was just a friendship ring.
ch: For he's a fine abstanding patriotic, healthy normal American boy.
Reporter 4 (spoken): Then why was her husband so mad?
JA (spoken): Sing!
ch: We love you Conrad, oh yes we do, we love you Conrad, and we'll be true.
JA (spoken): Why, I'll never forget Conrad's first word's when he heard he'd been accepted into the armed forces. 'Gee Mr. Peterson' he cried eagerly, 'Do you think they'll assign me to one of those frontline trenches (army talk here I don´t know what they're saying)
Reporter 5 (spoken): Is it true you found Conrad in a reform school?
VW & JA: That is a lie. A lie through and through. I'll tell you where he
came from here's the story and it's true.
VW: He was born in Indo-China.
JA: He was born in old Virginia
VW: Son of missionaries there.
JA: On a thousand acre farm.
VW: Very poor and very hungry
JA: From a line of wealthy planters.
VW: What a cruel life to bear.
JA: (I can't understand this part but it's something to do with being rich I'm guessing)
VW: Then he drifted down to Hong Kong
JA: (More stuff I don't get)
VW: In a waterfront saloon.
JA: In the moonlight he would croon.
VW: That is where we heard him singing.
JA: That's where Conrad started singing.
VW: 'neath that diry Hong Kong moon
JA: 'neath that old plantation moon.
(while VW and JA sing "America", chorus sings the conrad theme song-it's all
one big integrated mess)
ch: We love you COnrad, oh yes we do, we love you Conrad, and we'll be true. When you're not near us, we're blue. Oh Conrad we love you.
VW & JA (over chorus): Oh beautiful for spaceious skies for amber waves of grain. America, America, g-d shed his grace on thee.
All: For he's a fine abstanding patriotic, healthy normal American boy.

"Let's Settle Down"

Can't shake that dream of you and me, in some little town. If you'd shape up, we'd settle down. Leave the mess and the stress of big city living. Trade that grabbing and shoving for loving and giving. I'm tired of your talking, I want it now.

That house and yard with only birds, bringing songs around. Don't be afraid, to settle down. That green stuff's grass. And that smell everywhere, know what that is? Fresh air.
The years are going bye so fast. Hey, it's time we found some peace of mind.
Our peace of ground, let's settle down.

"What did I ever see in him" (p.s. - this one's my fave)

What did I ever see in him?
How could i ever get involved that way?
Now that it's over I can smile and say,
What did I ever see in him?

Boy, I was way out on a limb.
Now that my feet are on the ground again,
Now that my senses have been found again,
What did I ever see in him?

Is he tender?
No he's not.
Is he thoughtful?
No he's not.
Am I crazy?
What's he got
that i find so damn appealing?

What did he ever do for me?
Well to be honest he was sometimes nice.
But still it wasn't worth the awful price.
It was rough
from the start
broken dates broken nails, broken heart.
How did I ever, why did I ever, what did I ever?

Kim: (spoken) oh Miss Alvarez don't be so upset. I mean, all men can't be like that.
VW (spoken): Every single one of them.......(more chatter..)
Both:
Do we need them?
No we don't.
Do we want them?
No we don't.
Will we leave them?

VW: No we won't. Tell me what did I say that for?

Both:
What did we ever see in them?
How could we ever think that they were nice?
Take it from us we paid an awful price.
It was rough,
from the start.
Broken dates, broken nails, broken heart.
What did we ever see in....
(end of song-now we apparently have to guess who they saw something in-lol)

"Spanish Rose"

(this one's quite frightening-she talks in spanish a lot, says "quanto quanto la gusta" about 50 million times)

I'm just a Spanish tamale she likes to say.
Brought off a boat from the tropics far far away.
which is kinda funny, cos i come from romantic exotic Pittsburg P.A.

(spoken)
oh, she think's i'm Spanish? i'll show her Spanish if I ever marry
that mouse.

(singing again)
I'll cook the taco and the enchilada.
And day and night my castanets will click.
The only song i'll sing will be "Grenada".
I'll be so Spanish it will make her sick.
She'll visit in our cozy ascienda.
My red hot chile it will make her cry.
The daquiris will pour out of my blender.
And then we dance flamenco ay ay ay.

Watch out for the wild Spanish Rose.
The wickedest flower that grows.
her skirt she is split,
her hips never quit.
That spitfire Spanish Rose.

(insert little dancy part here)

Hey mrs. P be my mamacita.
A real Latina daughter I will be.
Together we will shop at the bodega,
then watch the Spanish channel on TV. Hola.

And then before long I suppose,
you'll help us pick out baby clothes.
For Juan and Enrique,
Rosa, Anita,
Jose and Carmen,
Jesus, Consuelo.

Mama you can bet your bottom peso.
Some day I make him one terrific wife.
It gives me mucho happiness to say so.
With me your sonny boy can have a life.

So boys now you've met Spanish Rose.
The wickedest flower that grows.
I'm wild and i'm free.
I'm what I must be.
Don't worry bout me,
Spanish Rose.

"Let's settle down"

(reprise)

About that dream of him and me,
in some little town,
I see the signs.
He's coming 'round.

To a song we can sing called "Happily Ever After"
quiet talks by the fire and a lifetime of laughter.
Oh can it be he's ready
to settle down?

Just, take that one last giant step
and you'll see we've found
A dream to share.
We're almost there
We'll settle down.

"Rosie"

This one is mostly done by "Albert". Vanessa doesn´t have a lot of
parts so I'll write both of them in.

JA:
I was never crazy for flowers
I confess that nothing left me colder.
I could watch a daisy for hours
and all i'd feel was several hours older.

Lilacs or lilies,
anything you please
all that they did was make me shrug or sneeze.

But now i love each blossom that i see
for a lovely little rose loves me.

Now my life is Rosie,
since i found my Rosie.
With a girl like rosie
how could i be blue?

Hand in hand we'll mosey
Me and little Rosie.
We will be so cozy
by a fire built for two.

Oh i once heard a poem that goes
A rose is a rose is a rose.
But i don't agree
Take it from me,
There's one rose sweeter than any that grows

That's my Rosie.
I'm so glad you chose me.
Life is one, sweet, beautiful song
to me.

JA: Now my life is Rosie
VW: Oh, we'll be happy I know.
JA: Since I found my Rosie.
VW: Off to the preacher we'll go.
JA: With a girl like ROsie
VW: So how could we
JA: How could I be blue?
VW: Be blue?

VW: Oh we'll have us a home out west.
A nice, little split, level nest.
And in every room, roses in bloom
JA: but there's one Rose sweeter than all of the rest.

JA: And that's my Rosie

Both:
I'm so glad you chose me.
Life is one, sweet, beautiful song.
If love is right, then, what could be wrong?
Life is one, sweet, beautiful song to me.